Please Don’t Romance Garrus Or Tali In The Mass Effect Remasters

The best thing about the Mass Effect series is the romances. Plenty of games have great shooting, engaging storytelling, and brilliant character development, but no one does romances quite like BioWare. Playthroughs of Mass Effect - and Dragon Age - are defined by their romance options before all else. “This is my Liara playthrough,” or “This is my Jack playthrough.” While the options lean heavily heterosexual, Shepard is spoilt for choice across the trilogy, from quick flings to love stories for the ages as the world crashes down. There are so many lovers to choose from, which is why I’m begging you: don’t pick Garrus or Tali.

Garrus and Tali are the only two squadmates who are by your side across all three games, although they cannot be romanced until Mass Effect 2. Garrus is a sharpshooting Turian, a rogue ex-cop, and Shepard’s closest ally and right-hand man. Meanwhile, Tali is a young Quarian engineer who joins your crew on her pilgrimage from her fleet - think an Amish Rumspringa but with a bunch of purple aliens allergic to air - and has one of the biggest arcs of all your squadmates, eventually finding herself at the center of the fate of her race.

They are fantastic characters, even in Mass Effect’s stacked deck, but they don’t belong to you. Garrus and Tali behave very differently to the other romance options in the game, and that’s why it’s much better for you and for them if you leave them alone. If you opt not to romance either of them, they will eventually begin to romance each other, in one of the best squadmate subplots the trilogy gets to tell.

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